Martha and Mary

Transformation in mind and in the way of looking at things – I guess, this is what describes me best right now. I’m currently going through a transformation – a little bit of change inside. Obviously, it is true that “change” is the only thing constant in this world. Whether we are 9 or 95 years old, we will always encounter change (or changes) at some point in our life.

And why is this so? From a Christian point of view, my answer to this question would always be this: “Because God is not finished with us yet.” From experience, I would say this is absolutely true. We are continuously being formed and molded into the person that our Father up there wants us to become. As long as we are not where He wants us to be at the moment, as long as we are not who we are supposed to be yet – there will always be changes in our life.

My transformation right now is quite different. It causes rift between me and my husband.

One day I woke up feeling a profound need to take some loads off my shoulders. Reflecting on that, I had thought of bowing out from whatever organizations I was a member of, and immediately decided to do exactly just that. I told my husband about it. He was fuming mad!

What was the reason for such decision? Many things. So many concerns. So many discontentments. As a writer, I only have the weekends to do my writing assignments. As a mom, I only have the weekends to connect to my children. As a family woman, I only have the weekends to do household chores – clean up the house, wash clothes, prepare the children’s uniforms, and their other needs for the following school week, etc. How can I do all these things if always during the weekend I am somewhere else other than the home.

My husband doesn’t let personal concerns affect his activities for the Lord. He was an ever faithful Christian, so devoted as a member, or a leader, in our community. As much as possible he never wants to miss a gathering. Even if he was so tired after all the day’s work he would always attend our community meetings. Weekends or non-weekends he would make sure he was around at meetings.

During discernment I’ve thought about Martha and Mary’s story in the Bible. I was very much like Martha while my husband was very much like Mary. I thought about what Jesus told Martha when she complained about her sister Mary not helping her out in the kitchen while she prepared foods and served Jesus and His companions, who had arrived unexpectedly at their house. Because as soon as Mary let Jesus entered their house, she sat down in front of Him to listen to His words.

“Lord, do you not care that my sister has left me by myself to do the serving?” Martha grumbled. “Tell her to help me.” But Jesus’ answer was firm, “Martha, Martha, you are anxious and worried about many things. There is need of only one thing. Mary has chosen the better part and it will not be taken from her.”

Indeed, there is need of only one thing. Jesus alone, or God, our Abba Father.

But, I get so distracted from the concerns in the family, the kids especially, and my writing life. On this ground I asked myself where exactly do we find God. Is God only to be found in the Church? Or, in community gatherings, or in prayer meetings? Do I not also find God when I try to follow my calling to write about the Gospel? Do I not also find God when I stay home with my children and fulfill their longing to be always with their mother, and try to look after their needs? Do I not find God when I accept into our house my children’s friends, whose parents are not around, and allow them to stay with my family for as long as they want to?

I was into this mind frame when I got a call from the Philippines. It was my friend Maila, calling from her office in Malacanang. I told her about my concerns.

“Hermie,” she said, “We do not have the right to go out and minister to the whole world if we cannot minister first to our own family members, especially our children.” Maila’s words hit home. She was right.

So, do I still think I am a Martha? Not that much anymore. Because I also believe that God is always directing us to the right road that He wants us to take at every given moment of our life.

Friends, how about you? Are you a Martha or a Mary?